We have started taking baby steps toward making the preparations for the Great Transition. Amy has started in earnest looking for a job in our target state. She has also started the process to get her teaching license there. Altogether, this doesn't seem to be too onerous a process, although it is not easy. It will require a fair amount of paper shuffling.
Tonight, we were having the traditional Sunday dinner at my parent's house. Out of the blue, my mom asked, in a surprisingly point blank sort of way, if I had sent in my deposit check to the aforementioned out-of-state school. I told her that I had and she said, rather, mater of factly, "So, its a done deal, then?" I couldn't really read her emotion. I wish she would let me know how she is feeling. I suspect that she doesn't want to add to the burden, but I would like to keep the dialogue open. I also suspect that she isn't too thrilled about the idea. I had to answer yes, pending a couple of huge puzzle pieces fitting into place.
This lead to the first of several anticipated difficult discussions. One about money. I had spent the better part of two days a couple of weeks ago working up a very detailed budget. It turns out that, surprisingly, scholarships and federal student loans will not cover the cost of attendance. While Amy's anticipated income will cover much of the slack, we will come up a few thousand dollars short. I am uncertain that I will be able to quality for private student loans based on my previous credit. So had to ask my parents if they'd be willing to cosign on the loans. I hate having to ask for financial help but I don't see any other alternative. It makes me feel like a little kid and it sucks. I wish I could figure out a way to work around it. I am hoping that they will agree to co-sign given the conditions of the loan and a co-signer release after as few as 12 payments. It won't be as heavy a load for them.
This in only the first in what I suspect will be a series of difficult conversations about moving. We still haven't talked about it with the in-laws or really with our son. We keep waiting until the right time and until we have more answers. I hate this feeling of limbo and I hate the feeling that we are letting people down. It seems that nobody is really happy with this decision and makes me wonder if this really a good idea. It seemed like such a good idea nine months ago, so simple. A lot has changed since then, this is true. Still, all of this resistance, real or imagined, makes me wonder. I'm not sure that I expected the change to be welcomed with open arms. I don't know what I expected, i guess. Still, the next five months promise to be perfectly difficult. I hope that these puzzle pieces drop into place soon.
